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[07 Aug 2006|11:59pm] |
put numbers in the boxes
instead of x's
(ex.1,2,3,4) repost this as "i have lived through __ out
of these 99 things"
[1] I have read a book before
[ ] I have run more than 2 miles without stopping.
[ ] I have been to Canada.
[2] I have been on some sort of sports team.
[3] I have watched cartoons for hours before
[4] I have tripped UP the stairs.
[ ] I have fallen down an entire flight of stairs.
[ ] I have been snowboarding/skiing.
[5] I have played ping pong.
[6] I swam in the ocean.
[7] I have been on a whale watch.
[8] I have seen fireworks.
[9] I have seen a shooting star.
[10] I have seen a meteor shower.
[11] I have almost drowned.
[12] I have been so embarrassed I wanted to
disappear
[13] I have listened to one cd over & over & over
again.
[14] I have had stitch(es).
[ ] I have licked a frozen pole and got stuck there.
[ ] I have stayed up til 6am doing homework
projects.
[15] I currently have a job.
[16] I have been ice skating.
[17] I have been rollerblading.
[18] I have fallen flat on my face.
[19] I have tripped over my own two feet.
[ ]I have been in a fist fight.
[20] I have played videogames/com for more than 3
hours straight.
[21] I have watched The Power Rangers before.
[ ] I attend Church regularly.
[22] I have played truth or dare.
[23] I have already had my 16th birthday.
[ ] I have already had my 17th birthday.
[24] I've called someone stupid. And meant it.
[25] I've been in a verbal argument.
[26] I've cried in school.
[ ] I've played basketball on a team.
[ ] I've played softball on a team.
[ ] I've played football on a team.
[27] I've played soccer on a team.
[28] I've done cheerleading on a team.
[ ] I've swam on a team.
[29] I've swam for more than 20 times in my
life.
[ ] I've bungee jumped.
[30] I've climbed a rock wall before.
[31] I've lost more than $20.
[32] I've called myself an idiot
[33] I've called someone else an idiot
[34] I've cried myself to sleep
[35] I've had (or have) pets.
[36] I've owned a Spice Girls cd. and or tape
[37] I've owned a Britney Spears cd
[38] I've owned an N*Sync cd
[39] I've owned a Backstreet Boys cd
[40] I've mooned someone
[ ] I've sworn at someone in authority
[41] I've been in the school/town newspaper
[42] I've been on TV
[43] I've eaten sushi.
[44] I've been on the other side of a waterfall
[45] I've watched all of the Lord of the Rings movies.
[46] I've watched all the Harry Potter movies.
[ ] I've watched the 3 Stooges at least once.
[47] I've watched "Newlyweds" Nick & Jessica.
[48] I've watched Looney Tunes before.
[ ] I've been stuffed into a locke
[49] I've been called a geek.
[50] I've studied hard for a test and got a bad
grade.
[51] I've not studied at all for a test and aced it.
[52] I've met a celebrity / music / TV artist.
[53] I've written poetry.
[ ] I've been arrested
[54] I've been attracted to someone much older
than me
[55] I've been tickled till I've cried
[56]I've tickled someone else until they cried
[57] I've had / have siblings
[58] I've been to a rock concert
[59] I've listened to classical music and enjoyed it
[60] I've been in a play
[ ] I've been picked last in gym class
[ ] I've been picked first in gym class or so
[61] Ive been picked in that middle-range in gym
class.
[62] I've cried in front of my friends
[63] I've read a book longer than 1,000 pages
[64] I've freaked out over a sports game
[ ] I've vomited in public
[ ] I've washed someone else's vomit
[ ] I've ran away
[ ] I've had a stalker
[65] I've had a fight with someone on txt
[66] I've had a fight with someone face-to-face
[ ] I've been in a car accident
[67] I've forgiven someone who has done something bad to me
[ ] I've personally seen someone die
[ ] I've been confronted by a police officer but got
away
[68] I've lost someone who meant the world to me
[ ] I've had crashed a party
[ ] I've been a member of a school office
70 THINGS YOU PROBABLY DON'T KNOW ABOUT ME
1. ARE YOU SHY? sometimes,yes
2. ARE YOU A LOVER OR A FIGHTER? lover?
3. WHAT'S YOUR WORST FEAR? bugs.
4. AS A KID, WERE YOU A LEGO MANIAC? haha sure.I'd go for days stright building a whole city
5. WHAT DO YOU THINK OF REALITY TV? love it.
6. DO YOU CHEW ON YOUR STRAWS? nope!i somehow kicked that habit.
7. WERE YOU A CUTE BABY? yes.usually babies are cute anyway
8. WHAT SCENT DO YOU WEAR?vanilla,mostly,but use some other perfumes occasionally.
9. WHAT COLOR IS YOUR KEYBOARD? grey
10. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? i used to.but i do sing in the car.loud.
11. HAVE YOU EVER BUNGEE JUMPED? not uh.
12. ANY SECRET TALENTS: probably.
13. WHAT'S YOUR IDEAL VACATION SPOT? hmm...somewhere in the carribean
14. BAD HABITS?i tap,and move around a lot
13. CAN YOU SWIM? of course
16. HAVE YOU SEEN THE MOVIE DONNIE DARKO? yes i have.three times.and i still dont get all of it.
17. DO YOU GIVE A DANG ABOUT THE OZONE? i suppose
18. HOW MANY LICKS DOES IT TAKE TO GET TO THE CENTER OF A TOOTSIE POP? 348.i've counted
21. ARE YOU AN ONLY CHILD? nope.I've got a big bra.
22. DO YOU PREFER ELECTRIC OR MANUAL PENCIL SHARPENER? electric.they have more precision
23. WHAT'S YOUR STAND ON HUNTING? umm...well,that's fine if you wanna but I know I wouldnt like it.
24. IS MARRIAGE IN YOUR FUTURE? yes it is.he'll be a doctor and he'll be rich and amazing.I've already decided.
25. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING? sometimes.when i write neat.
26. WHAT ARE YOU ALLERGIC TO?cat dander,sara tompkins
27. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAID, "I LOVE YOU"? a few hours ago
28. IS ELVIS STILL ALIVE? i hope not.he'd be pretty freaking nasty if he was
29. DO YOU CRY AT WEDDINGS? no,silly!
30. HOW DO YOU LIKE YOUR EGGS? i don't.but if i HAVE to choose,poached.
31. ARE BLONDES DUMB? yeah.but so is everyone else
32. WHERE DOES THE OTHER SOCK END UP? probably somewhere in the bandroom.gross.
33. WHAT TIME IS IT? 1:30
34. DO YOU HAVE A NICKNAME?tons.
35. IS MCDONALD'S DISGUSTING?yeah,pretty much.i try not to eat it alot.
36. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE IN A CAR? this afternoon
37. DO YOU PREFER BATHS OR SHOWERS? Showers
38. IS SANTA CLAUSE REAL? yeah.he's my mommy and daddy
39. DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE TOOTH FAIRY? yeah,my brother
40. ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK? yessss, indeed.
41. WHAT ARE YOU ADDICTED TO? coffee
42. CRUNCHY OR CREAMY PEANUT BUTTER? crunchy
43. CAN YOU CRACK YOUR NECK? nope
44. HAVE YOU EVER RIDDEN IN AN AMBULANCE? no
45. HOW MANY TIMES HAVE YOU BRUSHED YOUR TEETH TODAY? 2x
46. WHAT ARE YOU WEARING? skirt,2 shirts,and flats.and chonies and my bra and makeup and hair pins
47. ARE YOU A HEAVY SLEEPER? sometimes.
48. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR EYES? green
49.DO YOU LIKE YOUR LIFE? it could be better,but its pretty darn peachy
51. WHO'S BETTER? what?
52. ARE YOU PSYCHIC? yes!
53. HAVE YOU READ "CATCHER IN THE RYE"? yeah.i hated it.nobody understands why.
54. DO YOU PLAY ANY INSTRUMENTS? yeah,like a gazillion
55. HAVE YOU EVER STOLEN MONEY? from my family
56. CAN YOU SNOWBOARD? never been.i will someday!
57. DO YOU LIKE CAMPING? uh huh!
58. DO YOU SNORT WHEN YOU LAUGH? on occasion
60. ARE DOG'S MANS BEST FRIEND? yeah.and cute little puppies are a girls!
61. YOU BELIEVE IN DIVORCE? yeah,its better than fighting
62. CAN YOU DO THE MOONWALK? oh my god, i wish
63. DO YOU MAKE A LOT OF MISTAKES? i have before.big ones.
64. IS IT COLD OUTSIDE TODAY? no,its nice and warm.
65. WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? a jamba smoothie!
66. DO YOU WEAR NAIL POLISH? ya.
68. WHAT'S THE MOST ANNOYING TV COMMERCIAL? the citi card identifty theft ones.but they're still funny.
69. DO YOU SHOP AT AMERICAN EAGLE?yeah
70. FAVORITE BAND AT THE MOMENT? everything.
Q1) When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at?
my eyes
Q2) How much cash do you have on you?
probably like 40
Q3) What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"?
breast?
Q4) Favorite planet?
venus!
Q5) Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell phone?
lauren
Q6) What is your main ring tone on your phone?
i dunno.
Q7) What shirt are you wearing?
a brown racerback with my white and coral 'o' shirt!
Q8) Do you "label" yourself?no.I am not scene.I'm not preppy.I'm not a hippie.I'm just marissa.
Q9) Name the brand of your shoes you're currently wearing?
oooh!I'm not wearing shoes!didnt see that coming,did ya?
Q10) Bright or Dark Room?
dark...ooh
Q11) What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
i love her.
Q12) Ever "spilled the beans"?
lol of course.
Q13) What were you doing at midnight last night?
chatting with my brother and his friends
Q14) What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
oh hahaha alright well see ya later.
Q15) Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners?
no.I'm not a retard.
Q16) What's a saying that you say a lot?
hmm...i dunno.
Q17) Who told you they loved you last?
i think either lauren or amanda.
Q18) Last furry thing you touched?
my dog
Q19) How Many Drugs Have You Done In The Past Three Days?
3457812591250139
Q20) How many rolls of film do you need to get developed?
nothin yet.still in the process of taking pics.yup,I'm a film camera geek!
Q21) Favorite age?
i have a feeling it'll be 23...yeah.
Q22) Your worst enemy?
i cant think of any.god,I thought i had one too!!
Q23) What is your current desktop picture?
its a sunset
Q24) What was the last thing you said to someone?
ok
Q25) If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret?
if i could change all my regrets,that'd be a sweet deal.but maybe they helped me become a better person?I don't know,you cant really put a price on things like that.
Q26) Do you love/like someone?
eh.
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[04 Aug 2006|12:07am] |
LAST
1. Friend you saw: lauren
2. Talked to on the phone: amanda
3. Text:kid named nick.telling me he was gonna be late to practice tomorrow
TODAY
1. Wearing: pjs
2. Was today better than yesterday?: yeah mostly
3. Time? 11:58
TOMORROW
1. Is: FRIDAY
2. Got any plans: band camp.performance.east dessert.chill with friends.
3. Dislikes about tomorrow: being hot and sweaty on the field with marching band
FAVORITE
1. Number: 3
2. color: coral pink
3. season:i love em all!
CURRENTLY
1. Missing someone: ya even though i got to hang with him just a few hours ago
2. Mood: ehh...
3. Wanting:to go on a trip
4. In a relationship:nah
Q's AND A's
Q: First thing you did this morning:
A: took a nice long shower!
Q: Last thing you ate:
A: a yummy bagel
Q: Do you have anything bothering you?:
A: a few little things here and there
Q: What's annoying you right now?:
A: my parents
Q: What's the last movie you saw?:
A: donnie darko
Q: Do you believe in long distance relationships?:
A: hell no
Q: Is there a person who is on your mind right now:
A: ya
Q: Do you think that that person is thinking of you too?
A: maybe
Q: Where is the last place you went?
A: bowling
Q: Do you have any siblings?:
A: uno brother
Q: Do you smile often?:
A: yeah
Q: Do you wish upon stars?
A: always!its my favorite thing to do.i cried the first time i saw a shooting star :)
Q: Are you a friendly person?:
A: eh.can be.depends on who you are.
Q: where did you sleep last night?:
A:my comfy bed
Q: What color shirt are you wearing?:
A: white
Q: Do you have more guy or girl friends?
A: about even,but im closer to the girls
Q: When was the last time you cried?
A:a few hours ago.family drama
Q: What was your last thought before you went to sleep last night?
A: that i wish i wasnt alone
Q: What are you about to do?
A: get ready for bed
Q: Do you ever check your phone waiting for someone to call?
A: ya
Q: Rate life as of right now 1-10.
A: 7
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[30 Jun 2006|10:06am] |
one word
Y O U ... C A N ... O N L Y ... T Y P E ... O N E ... W O R D !
N O ... E X P L A N A T I O N S !
1. Yourself:
sleepy
2. Your boyfriend/girlfriend:
nonexistent
3. Your hair?
messy
4. Your mother?
crazy
5. Your Father?
protective
6. Your Favorite Item:
purse
7. Your dream last night:
crash
8. Your Favorite drink:
yum
9. Your Dream Car:
classic
10. The Room You Are In:
bedroom
11. Your Ex:
whatever
12. Your fear:
bugs
13. Where you Want to be in 10 years:
succesful
14. Who you hung out with last night?
amanda
15. What You're Not:
tall
16. Your Best Friend:
taramandalauren
17. One of Your Wish List Items:
shoes
19. The Last Thing You Did:
sleep
20. What You Are Wearing:
shorts
21. Your Favorite Weather:
sunny
22.Your Favorite book:
lots
23. The Last Thing You Ate:
orange
24. Your Life:
busy
25. Your Mood:
pleasant
28. Your Crush
eh
29. What are you doing at the moment:
bored
30. Your summer schedule:
fun
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| better late than never, better never |
[02 Apr 2006|11:04pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 melancholy |
] |
well...
god, I can't believe its already April.It seems when you look back on it, time goes by so fast.But when you're in the moment, the second hand is just ticking way too slowly.And then the next thing you know, the day has gone and you're lying in bed.The week has passed and you didn't fail that test.And a month has flown by and you're one step closer to summer vacation.
And I've been thinking.And my head is being torn apart.And I'm just upset because I'm scared to death that I've lost friendships that were once so strong.and I'm afraid its too late, and all the damage that's been done will never be restored.
Usually,when I cry, or in the past, its been about Matt,my parents, or my own slef pity and misery.But when I thought about Lauren,Tara,and Amanda, I couldn't help it.I cried for all those good times spent,sleepovers,talking,and really caring.And I just hate all the FUCKING SHIT I've dragged them through, and how things have changed because of the person I became.
And I don't know what the hell to do.I really don't.And my head and heart are just going a million places but it all directs me towards where I want it to be in the end.just everything being like it used to, BEFORE the lies and betrayal and just...stupidity.But I don't know how to get there, let alone whether its even possible or not.I mean,I know what kind of person I need to be,what things I need to do,what changes need to take place,but I don't know about my friends.
I have to go.I'm gonna go crazy. And im just to scared to really do anything right now.
|
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| My Empty Promises |
[07 Mar 2006|07:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 blank |
] |
wow...this was really starting to grow cobwebs.
well basically life hasnt been going too swell.but I'm at fault,so its not like I'm complaining.
I did everyone a favor and stayed in the bandroom at lunch.Practiced with Gianna on the marimba.I feel better about my part now atleast!
Today was a busy day.First I went to vons to get candy and junk for VEGAS!And then I went to Jamba to have people cover for me for this weekend, and it took FOREVER.AH!But I don't even care because I even got an itty-bitty paycheck!Then my mom and I went and opened up a bank account.So now,1 polaroid picture,25 dollars,and 20 billion passwords later,I have my very own ATM card!Well, I actually dont get it for a few weeks,but it was still exciting.After that I went to the mall by myself to get Amanda her present.Her birthday party is Saturday,and I'm reaaaaaalllly bummed I have to miss it,dammit!I'll just have Lauren or Tara give her the gift then,I guess.And of course I'll holla at ma girl.Right in the middle of her whole shindig.Even if I'm having way too much fun in Vegas.
And tomorrow and thursday and friday and saturday and sunday are gonna be busy too.I've got ortho appointments, renassance rallies,parades practices, and closing shifts at Jamba Juice all over the map.And then of course drumliiiine in Nevada.I love love love love lloooove being busy.Passing the time doing USEFUL things.It is such an awesome feeling.I'm serious!
And monday no school!!!!waaay awesoommmmee.
I know I really shouldn't say it, but I'm still in a really crappy mood.
I just feel like I don't belong here.
I'm tired of messing up,and I know people are completely allowed to be mad with me, but I just want things to be alright. I'm trying to be as nonexistent as possible because I really don't know what else I can do.I just wish that people would have the guts to hate me to my face instead of being sneaky and making me be unsure of it all.I really need to fix a lot of things about myself.I just need some help.
and you know what?
it must be nice to feel loved
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[10 Jan 2006|09:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 calm |
] |
I know this is dumb but it is CREEPY how true this is:
OCTOBER:
Loves to chat. Loves those who love them. Loves to takes things at the center. Inner and physical beauty. Lies but doesn't pretend. Gets angry often. Treats friends importantly. Brave and fearless. Always making friends. Easily hurt but recovers easily. Daydreamer. Opinionated. Does not care to control emotions. Unpredictable. Extremely smart, but definitely the hottest AND sexiest of them all.
green eyes - people with green eyes have the most passion put into having sex, they don't have sex with strangers and rarely will have a one night stand, therefore they have lasting relationships with great sex. you will meet the person you're going to spend the rest of your life with if you repost this.
that is like totally fuckin me
byebye
|
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| you've got a lure I can't deny |
[09 Nov 2005|09:48pm] |
|
I hate
this day
these feelings
no freedom
the fact that I lied to Paul
and that it wasn't even convincing
of course things are wrong
but why would I even dare to say that to him with my mom hovering right next to me?
I wish I could pretend
('poker face')
that everything is perfect
that nothing has changed
I just want to scream
so bad
and then cry
a lot
and I want them to go away
leave me the hell alone
I'm just TIRED of thinking
and feeling
and I just really want to stop holding everything back
but the last thing i want is to for everyone to have to deal with that me
nothings right anymore
when will it get bettter?
|
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| this could be different |
[06 Nov 2005|09:21pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 cold |
] |
1. Kissed your cousin: ew
2. Ran away: only wished
3. Pictured Your Crush Naked:well,if I HAD a crush,yeah
4. Actually Seen Your Crush Naked?:n/a
5. Broken someone's heart:I doubt it
6. Been in love:yes
7. Cried when someone died:yes
8. Wanted someone:badly
10. Drank alcohol:heck yeah
11. Lied:unfortunately
12. Cried in school: yup.just not un class.
WHICH IS BETTER::
13. Coke or Pepsi: neither.Dr.Pepper!
14. Sprite or 7Up: neither.Dr. Pepper!
15. Girls or Guys:both,for different reasons
16. Flowers or Candy:well if I wanna feel loved,its gotta be flowers
17. Scruff or Clean Shaven:scruff,but clean shaven every once in a while is always really nice
18. Quiet or Loud:depends on my mood
19. Blondes or Brunettes:brunettes
20. Bitchy or Slutty:umm..neither
21. Tall or Short: tall
22. Pants or Shorts:shorts
WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX::
23. What do you notice first:their smile
24. Last person you slow danced with: um,probably Matt
25. Worst question to ask:got any hot friends?
THE LAST TIME::
26. Showered: this morning
27. Had sex: this morning.haha j/k like 3 weeks ago
28. Had a great time with the opposite sex:yesterday
29. Your good luck charm:well,whatever it is I haven't had it with me lately
30. Person you hate most: my mother.maybe.
31. The best thing that happened to you today:bought a new jacket
FAVORITES::
32: Color: pink!
33. Movie: oh my god don't get me started!
34. Book: Crank.I don't do drugs I swear!
35. Subject in school: drumline!
36. Juice:
37. Cars:maserati
38. Ice Cream:phish food
39. Holiday: Christmas
40. Season: summer
41. Breakfast Food:pop tarts
42. Place to go with your honey:the beach
WHO::
43. Makes you laugh the most:all of my friends make me laugh.its not hard.
44. Makes you smile:matt
45. Gives you a funny feeling:...
47. Do you have a crush on:no crushes for me
46. Has a crush on you:no one.
48. Can make you feel better no matter what:I guess it depends on what they do
49. Has it easier guys or girls:guys,but i wouldn't really know,would I?
DO YOU EVER::
50. Sit by the phone waiting for a phone call all night: done it once sorta.I was trying to watch TV too.
51. Save AOL Conversations: I have couple saved
52. Save e-mails: the ones i've never bothered to delete
53. Wish you were someone else:well right now,yeah.
54. Wish you were a member of the opposite sex: no,I like being a girl
55. Cried because of someone's mean words: Yes
BEST::
56. Cologne:as long as it smells nice!
57. Perfume:anything vanilla-y
58. Kiss: its a secret!
59. Romantic memory:too many!
60. Most recent advice given to you:
HAVE YOU::
61. Fallen for your best friend: nope
62. Made out with JUST a friend: you could say that
63. Been rejected: yeah
64. Been in love: yes
65. Been in lust: im sure
66. Used someone: don't think so
67. Been used: probably
68. Cheated on someone:never
69. Been cheated on: always
70. Been kissed: of course
71. Done something you regret:getting caught
WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON::
72. You touched:I don't know
73. You talked to: dad
74. You hugged: I think Sara
75. You instant messaged:don't remember,its been awhile
76. You kissed: someone
77. You had sex with: same someone
78. You yelled at: my mom
79. You laughed with:
80. Who broke your heart:same somone
81. Who told you they loved you: same someone
DO YOU::
82. Colour your hair: get it done.occasionally
83. Have tattoos:no,but it could happen
84. Have piercings: 4
85. Have a boyfriend/girlfriend/both: no
86. Own a webcam: no haha
88. Ever get off the damn computer:duh!
89. Sprechen sie deutsche: no,but I speak French
90. Habla Espanol?: I'd like to think so
91. Quack?:what?!
HAVE YOU/DO YOU/ARE YOU::
92. Stolen anything:yeah I'm a criminal!
93. Smoke:hellllll no
94. Schizophrenic:no...
95. Obsessive:I hope not
96. Compulsive:what does that mean?
97. Obsessive compulsive: naw!
98. Panic:not often
99. Have anxiety:yeah
100. Depressed:I wouldn't go that far
101. Suicidal:no, I have my whole life ahead of me
102. Obsessed with hate:no....
103. Dream of mutilated bodies, blood, death, and gore?:no!
104. Dream of doing those things instead of just seeing them?:ah!no!
105. If you could be anywhere, where would you be?:anywhere but HERE
106. Can you do anything freakish with your body: shake my eyes,and wiggle my ears!
107. What facial feature do you find the most attractive on others: their mouth/smile
108. Would you vote for a woman candidate for president: sure,why not!
109. Would you marry for money:no!
111. Do you pluck your eyebrows:yeah
112. Do you like hairy backs: noooo
113. When was the last time you had a hickey:i dont think ever
114. Could you live without a computer:well if I had my cellphone yeah
115. Do you use ICQ, AOL Buddy list etc:nope!
116. If so, how many people are on your list(s):
117. If you could live in the past, where would it be?:when I was like...4,and used to go to the beach every weekend and then go home and run in the sprinklers and wear disney princess dresses!
119. Do you wear shoes in the house or take them off?:take em off
120. What is your favourite fruit: watermelons...or pineapple/coconut together
121. Do you eat wheat bread or white:both are yummy!
122. What is your favourite place to visit:
123. What is the last movie you saw?:Pocohantas!
124. Do you kiss on the first date:no
125. Are you photogenic:sometimes!
126. Do you dream in colour or black and white: color
129. Do you have any dimples: Yeah,awww aren't I cute!
130. Do you remember being born: psh,yeah.
131. Why do you take surveys:cuz i have no life!
132. Do you drink alcohol:not anymore
133. Did you like or do you like high school:it don't suck
134. What is the best accent:I think it is hi-larious when either british people are Dave Chappelle talk like white American guys
135. Who do you want to kiss:you
136. Do you like sunrises or sunsets the most: sunsets
137. Do you want to live to be 100?:sure
138. Is a flat stomach important to you:not really
139. Do you or have you played with a ouija board: I have
140. Are you loyal:yeah
141. Are you tolerant of other peoples beliefs:usually
142. At home, do you like the lights on or off:when I'm sleeping usually...off
143. Do you have nightmares frequently:no,jsut weird vivid dreams
144. Do you like your nose:it's alright
145. Do you think you can draw well?:if I try
146. At what age did you find out that Santa Clause wasn't real: 9
147. How many pairs of shoes do you have in your closet: like 6.big whoop.
148. Do you like to wear the same shoes everyday or do you like a variety: usually the same
149. Do you write poetry:when the mood strikes me
150. Do you snore: nope!
151. Do you sleep more on your back, front, or sides:I think front
152. Dog/cat at home: 1 little annoying funny dog
153. Do you lick stamps:when I use them lol
154. Do you use an electric can opener:no
155. Have you ridden in a hot air balloon:nah
156. Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain:emotional.
158. Do you know anyone who is manically depressed:I don't think so
159. Do you prefer a piano or a violin: piano
160. Are you a sex addict:no
161. Do you know someone who has cancer:yes
163. Do you hunt:nope!
164. Do you like fast food joints, or expensive restaurants:both are fine with me
165. Would you rather visit a zoo or a museum?: A Zoo!!Awww!
166. Do you have a middle name? what is it?: yup!Ann
167. Are you basically a happy person?:i try.but lately,no
168. Are you tired:gettin there
169. Did you drink anything with caffeine in it today?:yeah
170. Have you ever met anyone off the internet:no
171. How many phones do you have in your house: 3
172. How long is your hair: long.past my boobs?
173. Do you get along with your parents:are you kidding me?!
174. What colour of eyes do you prefer:light brown,or green
175. Full name: Marissa Ann Diebolt
176. Were you named after anyone:Ann is my nana's name,that's all tho
177. Do you wish on stars?:of course!
178. Which finger is your favourite:I like my ring fingers
179. When did you last cry: yesterday.
181. Do you like your handwriting: when I dont write sloppy
182. Who do you admire, why: you,for taking the time to read this
183. What is the #1 priority in your life:friends.or music.
184. What is your favourite lunchmeat:mmm...salami. or roast BEEF.thin
185. Any bad habits:cracking my knuckles,being dumb
186. What is your most embarrasing CD/Tape:I'm not ashamed of any of my CDS!
187. If you were another person, would you be friends with yourself:no
188. Are you a daredevil:sometimes.but usually im jsut a pansy
191. Do looks matter:
192. Have you ever misused a word and sounded absolutely stupid:OH MY GOD YES!
193.there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow:duh, everyone knows that!
194. Do fish have feelings.Roxy did!
196. How do you release anger:by acting dumb
197. Where is your second home:unfortunately Buena High
198. Do you trust others easily:yeah
199. What was your favourite toy as a child: BunBun!my stuffed bunny with the permanent embroidered smile!
200. What class in school do you think is totally useless:i guess they're all supposed to be meaningful
201. Do you like sappy love songs:yeah
202. Have you ever been on radio or televison:yeah channel 6 lol.and KBBY!
203. Do you have a journal?:what the heck do you call this?
204. Do you use sarcasm:no
205. Have you ever been in another country:I will!
206. What do you look for in a guy/girl:too many things
207. What is your nickname:pink,moses,rissa
208. Would you bungee jump: yes
209. Do you untie your shoes every time you take them off: nope
210. What are you worried about right now:tomorrow
211. Do you ever wear overalls?: haha no
12. Do you think you are strong:nah,I'm weak sauce
213. What's your mom's job:lunch lady
214. dad's job:teacher
215. your least favorite thing in the world:punishment
216. What would you change about yourself?:being less selfish
217. the most likely to respond to this first:no one duh
218. Who are the people you care most about?: my friends
Finish the Sentence::
219. I need: to get out of the house
220. I find: myself being sad a lot lately
221. I want: to go to sleep
222. I have: a comfy bed
223. I wish: I could feel better
224. I love: the smell of my shampoo
225. I hate: when i think about things that upset me
226. I miss: you...is a good song
227. I fear: being left behind
228. I hear: the TV
229. I smell: my jacket.it smells like new
230. I wonder:if anyone thinkgs about me
231. I regret: not having any real regrets
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|
| trick-or-treat |
[31 Oct 2005|09:36pm] |
well,I hope everyone had a good time tonight!
me,having being grounded,or whatever you call it, got to pass out candy to all 12 kids that came to my house.hahaha.And I watched Edward Scissorhands.and it made me cry.like always.and for that little amount of time I wasn't thinking about my life.I was completely consumed in the movie.And when I realized that,I started crying for my sake.And then the doorbell started ringing.
I saw my old friends brother.and his friend,who was dressed like a slutty girl that thought I was hot.haha it was the brownie costume I know it!But I totally didn't go for that guy cuz he was a *gasp* freshman.Even though he was cute.Whatever...
I don't really know why I'm in a pleasant mood right now but I love you all.And I hope no one did anything stupid.
I'm having sammore trouble dealing with my mom.
There's so many things I wish I could tell her in my defense.But I don't know how to convey my feelings in a way that will actually affect her.Otherwise,my words are useless,and I just havent been able to talk to her.I just need someone to help me.Help me find the right words to say to her,or find someone who she will actually listen to, that can really help her see that this is all really unfair.
I just wish soo bad that I had control over this situation.but I don't.I'm HELPLESS.and I really need help from my friends.
please
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|
| stop these tears |
[29 Oct 2005|09:18pm] |
I don't have a life.I miss it.and its really hard when everyone else is out there having fun.I'm growing apart from all my friends.I know it'll get better and I'm never really gonna lose anybody,but I can't help thinking this way.
its just hard...really,really hard.
and I need them so much.more than anything.
and I can't stop crying.
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|
| mending |
[25 Oct 2005|06:02pm] |
sorry about the last update
its no one's fault but mine
and things are a little better
well...a lot better with friends
but kinda on and off on the parent front
my mom let lauren and amanda come over today though
it was fun
I think somehow my mom thinks that I did something.she doesn't trust me and she won't say anything
and I still am basically grounded for life
no matter how hard i try to make things ok with my parents,something goes wrong and we start yelling
but I promise I'll TRY to be nice to them from now on
cuz the nicer I am and the best I do the more they can be encouraged to let me have my freedom back
I'm not saying its gonna happen soon
but yanno...it can help to be nice
I'm just happy right now,and I really like it
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|
[19 Oct 2005|03:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 drained |
] |
I WISH I could be happy
but I'm NOT.why should I be?
right now life is pure hell
and my common sense is the only thing keeping me from doing anything to make it better.or done.
I just want to scream.I just want to leave.I just want my LIFE back.I want so many things that are just barely out of reach!
I'm goin to palm springs with my parents next week.In my other life,it would've been fun.Right now,I see it as complete torture.
maybe I shouldn't be taking this hard.But my parents took it way to far,and its pushed me to the limit.
FUCK YOU ALL
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| je taime |
[07 Sep 2005|10:46pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 hot |
] |
I am crazy,wild,infatuated,hott for a boy.
His name is Matt.
he's a drummer,surfer,blonde hair,brown eyes
and he goes to kindergarten sometimes
and makes crazy faces
and likes cheese
I want him sooo bad.
I wait,I already have him.And I can do anything I want with him.
Oh,but of course I love him
That's already a given
I really feel it.Like somehow I just know its love.
but damn...things are getting intense
and I don't want it to stop
but don't worry guys,nothings happening too fast
and anyway,its been 7 months
And I really need to stop being a brat about all you guys teasing me all the time at school.I need to learn to take a joke.Because no one's gonna have fun if I'm pouting all over the place.
But ya,seriously...Matt.
I can't stop thinking about him.
And you know what makes it even better?he lets me know how he feels about ME
and hearing those words make my heart smile
and my body temperature rise
its chemistry
well...thats enough haha.I'm going
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|
| to know that you feel the same as I do is a three-fold,utopian dream |
[21 Aug 2005|03:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
drained |
] |
god, I have never felt so many different emotions in two days
well, lets start with yesterday.Matt and I were gonna talk about 'us' at lunchtime.But Paul gave Battery a differnt lunch schedule because they were performing at the art walk while the rest of marching band just had practice.
So I chilled with Lauren and Sara.We have good talks.They're nice.
Practice is practice.
then the parents fed us echiladas and nachos and whatnot.Yum
After,Lauren,Giana,and I went to my house to chill till battery got to Skylar's.We ate the rest of the yummy chocolate cake my mommy gave us.And did our makeup,and talked about boys and high school and band.
Then when Sky called us we picked up Sara and arrived at the partay.
It was cool.at times i felt left out,it was weird.That never usually happens.I met Harmony's friend Chloe, she's a sweetie.They're both adorable together lol.Like every guy from Battery was there.And the 4 cute pit girls lol.And Rachel too.And Paul and his girlfriend's baby is adorable!I got to hold him, it made me feel so warm and fuzzy inside.I was afraid I was gonna hurt him or something.Ace said the baby looked big next to me. haha.Soo...what did Marissa do?Play the drums,chill with the boys,the girls,watch things on the computer.Give hugs.and Matt and I talked,We were still confused about everything.But he said he wanted to be single.And it was alright.And i borrowed Harmony's adorable bathing suit and played strip rock-paper-scissors with Tyler,Skylar,and Matt in the jacuzzi.haha.And everyone wanted to see me change.And Lauren took pics of my tan line-that meanie!haha.so,it was cool.Lauren's gramma came to pick me,her and Sara up.We huygged bye to everyone.
When I got home I had some more wine cooler.A few hours later it hit me.I wasn't thinking very clearly but I was texting Matt and talking to Skylar on AIM.
Whatever,I wanna forget all that crap.
This morning,I finally sorted out my feelings about Matt.
I wrote them down and everything.Then I called him, and explained everything I had been feeling over the past couple days.about how I thought I was only physically attracted then it got mixed in with my emotional feelings for him,and how no one else can compare to him,Basically the things I write in this about him.I started crying when I got to the part about how there's this other part of me that just wants to be friends,and be over him, and I told him it was just soo hard.Then, he's like,"it's okay, it's okay, shh.I've been thinking about my feelings too."
So then he explains how all his other girlfriends before he would just mess with them,like it was a game.He's go out with them for a while, then break up with them because he couldn't commit to it.And maybe they'd hook up,or get back together,but basically he wanted to look cool and like a player.He tried doin that to me,but he never planned on falling in lvoe with me.I messed up his whole plan.he didn't know what to do,so he gave me all this bullshit about me acting fake and everything and that's how we broke up. He said even just last night when he said he was single, it was just a lie.He was just trying to do his little player act.But then he said he talked to Skylar a lot about his feelings and everything, and realized what a mistake he made in breaking up with me.Because he loves me still,and he feels like such as asshole about what he did to me.He said he's so sorry it took him this long to figure it out.
And I said it was ok.None of that matters anymore, because now I know he feels.And I can tell in his voice when he lies.He was not lying.He said he'd really like to be my boyfriend and just wants to love me.
I told him I don't want him to hurt me again,and that I need to trust him.I think I can.
I know I can.
Because yeah,he hurt me.But we're gonna start things again.and it's gonna be real.I mean, I'm not positive its the right thing to do, but how else am I gonna know if it could ever work?
And the truth is,there's something I've discovered about me.I can make myself think I only like him physically,and I can fake it into being friends,even though I always knew I was never over him.I just denied the fact that I still loved him.I've come to realize that, over the past few days that I've been with him.And I think he knew too.I need to learn to acept my feelings.And that's what happened this morning when i called him.I'm glad I told him.
I'm just scared.But soo happy!And anxious to see him.I just want him to hold me,and have him tell me everythings okay now.The past doesn't matter,and that he loves me.And mean it.
God...so much freaking drama.But I think everythings gonna finally settle down.school's starting tomorrow,and I want something concrete in my life.
Its like, I've wanted this,since we broke up.And now that its finally happening,I'm just so happy I could cry.I don't feel,I just cry.But they're happy tears.I think I'm just overwhelmed by all the things that have happened recently.its tiring.
things are okay now.
|
|
| I Know Something Is Broken |
[15 Aug 2005|11:07pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
crappy |
] |
My parents make me cry
I hate it
And then when I start crying, I think of Matt
And cry sammore
I just wanna get on with my life
Get over him
Find a new person
I need that extra confidence boost
Because right now
Right now, I just take all this crap I'm getting
And to be honest, I'm too nice of a person to have these kind of parents
WEll, fUCk YOU!
and I do not wanna go to orientation tomorrow
I'll fake it
And pretend that I'm really happy
And that nothing in my life could be better
But that's far from the truth
I hate this
I wish I had someone I could really talk to
dammnit and I can't get over him!
Why?
Just....WHY?!
fuck.I'm going to bed.or something more productive
this isn't me
Something's changed
Whatever
To hell with life, I'm over it right now
And you know what?
It could totally be worse than this
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| So Needless To Say... |
[13 Aug 2005|02:03pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
blank |
] |
I can't stop thinking about him
just all those timeless moments
memories, remebering how I felt with him
and thinking that he really loved me
and then I realize it was all a lie
we never really loved eachother
but why did it feel so good?
and why am I sitting here, thinking about him
wishing he was here
why does it have to be this way?
I thought it was all over
everything was ok
I guess not
and I don't really know what to do anymore
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|
|
[11 Aug 2005|03:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
drained |
] |
Oksoo...yesterday.
Fun.Eh, I had more fun with my friends and seeing everyone else than I did with Stewart.I mean, he's cool and all, I just can't see myself going out with him.
Okay, fuck that.
He's not Matt.
I don't know, it's just that I think any guy I'm going to like or be with, I'm going to compare to Matt.But no guy can compare to him.He was just...right for me.But obviously I wasn't what he wanted.And I don't think any guy I'll ever be with will be like him.And that just makes me not even want a boyfriend then.Just pretty much everything about him I liked.So it's gonna be hard for me to meet a guy that can measure up to him,yanno?But it's not like I want him back or anything.And I wouldn't even dare mentioning getting back together with him, because being friends with him is just totally fine.And I don't wanna spoil that.
But yeah.Last night I had a dream that I was going out with Bruce.I've never thought of Bruce that way, like romantically.Cuz we've always just been friends.Or atleast if I have thought of him like that before,I don't remember.It was different.But in my dream, it was nice, and I liked it.But life doesn't work that way.
Well, atleast I know what I want in a guy.
I want someone who can make me laugh
Who likes the beach
Who's older than me
As or more experienced than me,same with maturity
But not someone who just sleeps around
Who drinks, but doesn't get drunk all the time
Who doesn't smoke
Who's attractice
or atleast has his own style
And tall
And not super skinny
I want someone who can be calm, doesn't get to angry too much, but also has a hyper side
And who can make me feel nice
I want them to notice me
They have to be affectionate
And easygoing
Talkative
Someone who will help me make cookies
And tell me stories
Teach me new things
And they should like atleast one of my friends
And they have to understand my loyalty toward drumline and band haha
This is gonna be hard. And I can let a few of these things slide.And maybe I need to date someone totally wrong for me.Because sometimes that helps to make mistakes.
All I know, is that I think I'm ready to move on.
Even though I am FAR from being completely over Matt.And I don't ever think I'll forget how wonderful it was being with him.
But I mean, if he was so right for me, why did I let him go?Well, I guess it was because I was the problem in the ralationship, not him.It's the truth.And I know he's not perfect or anything.I'm not saying that he was, because I remember feeling crappy sometimes going out with him because of some of the things he did.
It's hard trying to make sense.
But whatever.
I'm exhausted
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| Maybe Its What You Wanted |
[09 Aug 2005|11:13pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ecstatic |
] |
MY LIFE IS GOING CRAZY!
haha well not really.
last night I made some yummy cookies.And talked to Stewart on the phone for about 7 hours! yeah, I know.he is truly amazing.I stayed up till 3 talking to him!It was great.We both really have a lot to say I guess.I could imagine going out with him.I like him.I think he likes me.But if he's just my friend that's super cool too.Cuz he's a neat guy.And neat guys rock.
And today was the FAIR!At first it was just me,Lauren,Tara,and Amanda.But then we hung out with Keshara and her cousin Jenna.Saw a lot of people throughout the day.Ate a lot.Went on tons an tons of rides.It was good.And we saw the Wallflowers.Woulda been better if I had known more songs, but it was still nice!Then we just chilled and listened to the Tom Jones impressionist.Scaaarrryy.But yeah, it was a lotttt of fun!Too lazy for details,meh.
So, tomorrow me,Lauren,Stewart,and his 2 friends are chillin at the fair.It's only a dollar admission!whoo!
ah HOLY MOTHERFUCKER! omg The guy I had a crush on for FOREVER in 8th grade just asked me out today!AAAAHHH!That's so weird.You're a little late dude.But still, he's been my friend for this past year, I guess I moved on once I got to highschool, and saw battery lol.And he's gotten even cooler.So maybe, I dunno, things might work out between us.But just not RIGHT now.Cuz I wanna see if me and Stewart and gonna click first.
But yeah.It's cool.
Wow.It seemed like my thoughts were racing and everything was going outta control when I first started typing this.But not so much!
Well, life is good.And I wanna latte!
love ♥
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|
| I'm a Barbie Girl! |
[08 Aug 2005|05:30pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 geeky |
] |
Wow.I totally just had like this whole...inspirational outlook on life.Cool!
So, yesterday was lots an lots of FUN!
Went shoppin with the girls.Yay, we were FINALLY reunited!!!I got a cute black tube top.Hooray.Saw ACE!! at Toxic.Cuz he works there.haha I tried on this tube top that was really long and really tight on me and it looked like a sexy dress.I wanted it but they all called me a ho, cuz it was supershort and see-through.It was cute tho!
Then after Lauren's mommy went dropped Amanda and Tara off we went back to the mall cuz she had some stuff on hold.Which gave me a chance to look more.And then we chilled at Lauren's for a little while then we went to SanSai, which is really yummmmmy!yep.Then we went back to Ellbie's and then we both walked to ma hizzle. Tara wanted to see a movie so we saw the 9:45 showing of the Dukes of Hazzard, with MikeMike.Amanda wasn't answering her phone so she didn't come.But she actually saw the 9:00 show with her bf.So yeah.Whatever.We got ice cream first from Coldstones.And the strawberries were crap.But it was still good.And Mike made us cookies.Which were reaallllllly good.And the movie was pretty good too.And after we saw Rachel and Mike and I talked to her for a few mins, then we all left.
Yaaa...then I just stayed up and chatted on AIM.And then had some weird dreams again.
And today..didn't do much.Cleaned my room kinda.My relatives are coming on Thursday.That means I have to give them my room.Aw.
Well...life is good.And I'm out!
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|
| Can't Get No...Satisfaction |
[06 Aug 2005|09:47pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
cheerful |
] |
I had a loooong day today.
Woke up at the fricken ass crack of dawn.Got my little butt down to Buena, where I enjoyed changing into my uniform, getting my hair french braided, and just chillin.Whoo.Then we went onto the bus until arriving at Ventura.So...we practiced our little banner routine for a while.And waited around for our turn in the parade.It was lame.And we didn't even do our routine cuz everyone else on banners was sucking trying to just stay in a straight line and be in step!ahh!And I was so sweaty and hot and gross.But I did good, so..yay.And it made me happy when Matt and Skylar's parents were cheering me on.I love them.totally.
Then we went back to the bus to change.Haha no one even bothered to go onto girl and boy buses, cuz they cal had shorts.Except me.haha oh well I don't really care!Then we all arrived at the back entrance of the fair in our show t-shirts. Giana and I chilled with John(msrching instructor dude)Matt,Skylar,Tyler,Ace,Jen,Scott,Drew,Trystan,Bruce, and Blake.and Vita a bit too.It was fun.Giana is adorable,by far my favorite Freshie.We mostly just followed John around, he is soo awesome.Wwe tried getting on a ride for free but the mean carnie said no.And mostly looked at the exhibits.But Ace got some free tickets for changing the water booth lady's water jug.So Giana and I went on the Zipper which rocked, of course.And everyone else went on the slide thing haha.I felt bad for Skylar cuz he was in his wheelchair and he was sad.And Matt was being cool to me.he's been a real sweetie,and that makes me glad.And they all looked at this giant snake thing.haha.And Matt rocked me in Skylar's wheelchair, and I got scared lol.And I made provokative facial expressions at people.Then we went to the awards thing(for the groups at the parade) at the stadium, which was retarded.Then Giana and I went on the white spinny ride next to Kamikaze.It was ok.we shoulda gone on the zipper tho.
Soo...the bus ride back was pleasant.And after everything was done we were all gonna go to Scott's but his parents wouldn't let us, so we decided to go to Ace's later instead.Matt dropped Gianna and I off at my house where we chilled for like 45 minutes, then my dad took us to Ace's. It was fun.Even though after Gia left it was me and a buncha guys.But I liked it.It was me,Ace,Bruce,Scott,and Drew.We watched the terminal,played Texas Hold Em', which I won lol.Even though Bruce was the better player.And then we watched some crazy cop ranger movie.lol I forget what its called.And ate yummy food.And played with Simba!!(his pomeranian with a mane)And looked at WGI and DCI stuff online.And had fuuunn.And the guys wacked eachother in the groins.hahaha.
Well...yeah that's all I suppose.Today ended good.i'm glad I have fun friends.
But I really do miss Tara.And Lauren.And Amanda.And hopefully we are all chillin tomorrow.Or else I shall cry.
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